There's something both satisfying and unsettling when you realize finally that you deserve better than you've been allowing. Satisfying because you feel, "Finally. This is what that feels like." and Unsettling because you think, "How did I let this go on for so long? Why was I so comfortable in this disarray?" To the point where feeling bad was better than feeling nothing.
And that is unacceptable.
It's like getting so used to crumbs that when someone offers you fresh baked loaves of bread, you run away because you think they're too good to be true and I can't stand the idea that I have to actively talk myself out of crumbs but still can't accept the loaves.
I forgot to mention this before, but Happy December.
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