Hilarity

THIS ..is comedy at it's absolute finest.
Atleast the first 10-15 seconds of it, lol.

For Granted

I give so much more than I receive but until I learn that the world is filled with ungrateful bastards who take everything for granted, I will never learn. Here's to wishful thinking or denial.

"illegitimi non carborundum"

Worthy

*sigh*

I have this written everywhere. & whenever i feel things are getting out of control, I recite this to myself and it puts things back in perspective. I am worth it. You are worth it.

Don't get it twisted.

Hermano

my dear, dear Alvarez turned 22 over the weekend and we celebrated in Atlantic City. How i love this boy. Love, love, love<3 He knows my deepest, darkest secrets and i can genuinely trust him with anything. Plus, he gives me extremely honest advice, to the point where he becomes a reality check for me. I'm very appreciative of him in my life and i hope he enjoyed his birthday, because i did.

love you, boo.

Absolutely Right

LMAO, with a few minor details and adjustments, this could very well be EXACTLY what a guys brain consists of.

So Lost

Hey blog buddies.
I've missed you, so im feeling the need to keep you updated on the recent events of my life which actually haven't been the slightest bit interesting. So, here goes:

I went to Atlantic City for one of my bestfriend's birthdays. Pictures will be posted shortly. It was...fun. And by fun, i mean it was an experience with a rather rambunctious [SO spelled that wrong] group of young adults who -- besides myself-- love to party.

um ..
and that ends my sad excuse for why i haven't been blogging. I've done NOTHING else, and yet ive been so lost from this place. Maybe its because once i get on here it seems the floodgates open and i start to rant about my shitty job, or never-ending college career, or some stupid boy, or some stupid, stupid friends and ughhh. i get carried away.

but, um ..oh yeah.
i'm gonna plan a spring break trip.

preferably by myself.
Let's see how that goes. I'd honestly love to go somewhere and lounge by myself.

ah, a girl can dream huh ;]

Beat

SO TIRED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Little Drunk

"And I said I wouldn't call, but I'm a little drunk & I need you now."

-- Lady Antebellum

Story of my life, Lol.

Waldo

This is my "Where's Waldo?" shirt.
& i love it.

and that is also my "What it do?" face.
& i don't love it as much, but still, it's mine.

and this is my "What do i blog about?" post.
& i think it's neat.

=]

Quit Life

"Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Like, there are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, 'I want to quit my life and just fuckin' snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you."

--John Mayer


I find him ridiculously fascinating and he's getting a lot of heat over this recent interview he did with Playboy magazine, but i honestly don't expect anything less from this guy. As talented and witty and clever as he is, he has a slick ass mouth and doesn't seem like that's gonna shut anytime soon. Of course, his other comments have to do with him using the "N"word and referring to his penis as a "white supremicist", which may or may not have been pushing the limits (Depends on which side of the liberal spectrum you stand --if at all).

My point is --that i understand this quote. ESPECIALLY the "i want to quit my lfe and just fuckin' snort you." God, i sooooo understand that. Pretty much how amazing someone makes you feel that you just want to inhale all of them into you.

Sweet.

Breezy

One of my bestfriends just left to Navy training today. =[ I'm used to seeing this man several times a week and now i won't be speaking to him, much less seeing him for about 10 weeks. It sucks that it actually hit me so late, but I still can't believe this stuff. Of course, I'm proud of him and wish him nothing but the absolulte best for trying to better his life, but i'm definitely going to miss him everyday he's gone.

I'm definitely going to miss Rob a lottttttttt: My brother from another mother =[ ..
Hopefully he writes to me so i can reply and not lose that much touch with him.


*UPDATE*
Due to weather conditions,Rob aka Breezy got to stay two more nights!!!! Yayyyy, it's better than nothing! but, the "goodbyes" continue tonight, unfortunately =/

Immortality

"Well, for YOU my love is immortal so even with my death my love will never leave you."
-- Anwar


This made me SO happy :)

Gotta Go

This weekend I was discussing with a friend how I desperately want to get away. And I don't mean just for a week, or a weekend, or any vacation of any sort: just seriously packing up and leaving what I'm comfortable with ..and start over completely anew, but elsewhere. I also mentioned how I wouldn't even care enough about what I'm doing now to say goodbye to anyone.

It's not that I wouldn't miss certain people or I feel they wouldn't deserve that much respect, its simply because I know the feedback I would get. Or at least, I'm assuming I know what I'm going to hear. Which would be the usual who-what-when-where-and especially WHY.

But I'm getting ahead of myself because it doesn't seem like I'm going to be going anywhere until I graduate.

FML, I wanna leave!

P.S. What a difference a blog makes. My previous post was way more insightful and profound and somewhat beautifully written (if I may toot my own horn) ..and this one is so womp-womp.

Scandoulous.

I'm Hurting

So, what I'm about to say is probably the rawest (is that a word? I'm gonna look into it.) I've said/felt in a while. It tends to take me a while to ever completely and verbally reflect what I'm feeling but these thoughts couldn't be more on the money.


I opened my heart up to people who pretended to open their heart up to me as long as no one else knew about it.That's not a good way to live, and it's not a good way to love..If the love you're giving and receiving is healthy, you should be able to announce it from a mountaintop without fear.The things I'm saying right now are the things people, myself included, mean when they say "niggas/bitches ain't shit" They don't have the courage to say "I'm hurting, and I'm trying to figure out why, but yeah, having to love in secret forced me to start living in secret, and it slowly but surely ate away at my soul.I'm a great person in every way, and no one in my life has any reason to be ashamed of me.


*sigh*
HOWEVER, the love you accept is a reflection of the love you believe you deserve, at least subconsciously. Keep in mind that I went through this/am going through this with more than one person in my life. This is not an attack on anyone specific. This is my own pathology.

But, don't get me wrong..I know and I understand that I have quirks and weaknesses, but they are NOTHING compared to my general, holistic awesomeness. I mean, plain and simple, I am awesome.

This is the view I must have of myself as I strive to rebuild my life.But real is real: I have abandonment and self-esteem issues that were only intensified by my ..let's call them .."relationships" (emphasis on the quotation marks) over the last three years.Now is the time for me to face and reverse these issues.

This explains how I've had to push people away in life. How it was crutial that I had to distance myself in order to avoid being constantly reminded of the things that hurt me, to avoid repeatedly peeling off scabs.I had to spend enough time away from them to realize that I'd be alright whether they remained in my life or not, even thought that amount of time was nothing of what I wanted my mental mind to allow me..I was talking years, months..while my heart/emotions/feelings gave me a few days.But when the pain a person brings you begins to exceed the joy, you've got to break loose from that person, even if only for a while..and that's exactly what I attempted to do.

Because it sucks. It genuinely sucks and hurts having to separate yourself from people you truly love, and who HAVE contributed positive things to your life.

What makes this situation so sad is that there are no monsters or saints. I did my share of dumb shit too. And in the end, I won't apologize for it ..or regret it ..although I've said on numerous occasions that I do regret things.


*deep breath*
..Baby steps

Holding Back

I am trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I'm scared of what you'll say
So I'm hiding what I'm feeling
But I'm tired of
Holding this inside my head

--Colbie Caillat

Dirty Minds

"if you were my homework, i'd do you everyday - in every possible way."

"Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids."


LMAO,
i'm just in a silly mood.


Ahahahahahahaa ..Just in THAT kind of mood ;]

Magical

"But who cares? No big deal. I want MORE!"




"Unbelievable sights, Indescribable feeling"



I love these songs.
Even though I've never seen these movies.

GASP

..i knowwww, i knowwww. Sorry!

I Wish

#shout to Don on "Minus the Bars" for giving me the idea of doing this aka i saw it on his blog and thought "How Clever..I'm gonna do the same thing." =]

I WISH:

• there weren't so many stop signs on random intersections
• college textbooks weren't so damn expensive
• I lived alone
• I could come forth and say exactly what i feel to the people i care about
• I had a better relationship with my mother
• my sister would just grow up already so i can see the amazing person she's gonna become
• my dad lived closer
• my bestfriends made time for me, like i do for them
• people acknowledged their mistakes as blessings and learning experiences
• sex wasn't always so taboo and "frowned upon" and we could just EMBRACE it
• no one assumed that my above statement means i'm a hoe, 'cause im not.
• i wasn't so adapt to living in secrecy
• i could write for a living and LOVE it and not have it become something i eventually hate due to my job.
• basically, that my blogging were more than a hobby
• i could stop wishing and just DO

In the words of Ms Bassey Ikpi, "Love someone & mean it".

Word.

Already

Sweet, baby Jesus it's February already !?

Happy Feb, folks ! Hopefully there's much to look forward to this month =]