Who Shot Ya

Sept 11, 09 the Blueprint 3 dropssss. can't wait to jamm to it as i drive to school like i do all my albums ! =]

Powerful Focus

This poem really does speak volumes. I've always loved this dudes poems, his delivery is crazy powerful, i always end up really feeling his passion. More from this dude later on..

A New Discovery

YO!

but, what is this dique "Russell Simmons Presents Brave New Voices" ?! I'm mad no one put me on this before, tho! It took one of my coworkers to post a link on facebook for me to find thiss...how long have i been missing out?

And this poem is directly on point bcuz i put up the ill front like im OK with being "that girl" or "that sidepiece" or that chick who doesnt mind being second best. but let me just tell you that it's not even like that

I just dont understand why its not OK for you to love me. & she says that frequently in her poem.

I've had enuff and this shorty is reading directly from the script inside my heart. because you know what they say? The sequel is NEVER better than the original. and i, my friends, am the original.

get used to it,
;]

Miami

I can't waitttttt ! I'm honestly gonna wild out that weekend just because i fricken deserve to. and even though it's a relatively large group of people --including some of whom i'm not too fond of -- i'm still gona have a buggout with those who i AM fond of. I might even throw any caution right out the window and do the whole skinny-dipping thing with some of the friends. Why not, right? You only live once. & it's my homegirl's birthday so we're def gunna be popping bottles. I'm excitedddddd . Just gotta buy my plane ticket as soon as possible so i can get a good rate. Soon enough i'm gonna write a To-Do list of what (or who,lol) i want to do while im down there. Plus, the house has a pool and a hot tub so you already knowwwww it's goin down ;] .

P.S. That "To-Do" list will be posted shortly =]

Two Weeks

This wednesday it's gunna be exactly 2 weeks before school starts =[ and i couldnt possibly be dreading it moreeee . Not to mention all the bullshit i have to deal with because of financial aid and my mom being ridiculously irresponsible! UGH. But, whatever ..i'm looking forward to Miami in september and Halloween!!!! I fricken love this holiday, im so excited ! But im so pissed that school starts in 2weeks, like..WHY!? This summer was WAYY too short and it rained for the good first half of it so it technically doesn't even count. Why doesn't Susan Cole [MSU's President] understand this?

Gosh, she's so selfish ..

Verbally Toss & Turn

I love this.
I want to experience this "foolishness"
Plus, i love to argue and im SO good at it & i'm usually always right so it seems perfect for MEEEEE ( ;] )

=]

Making This Easy

This is EXACTLY how America works, too man. The minute our laziness kicks in there's always some government official to make decisions for you and sign you up for bullshit you don't even need. And the minute you try to get away from it all you come back and all your shit is backed up and fucked up .. and the stress of getting it all together again is overwhelming.

This country is some bullshit, but the fact that i can complain and mock it is what makes it what it is.

No, You're Not Feelin' Me

I can watch/listen/memorize Def Poetry for days. I think it's this man's delivery that makes this poem what it is. And its true, it seems like dude's think they know what women are really looking for ..but in my case anyway, women are just looking to be genuinely appreciated. And men are afraid to love--the majority atleast. Like he says, "You have to truly love "love" before you can truly love ME" It's all a work in progress.

=]

Sucker-Free

I have a habit of maintaining certain patterns with friends. For example, i'll hang out with the sameeeee people day in and day out for months, maybe even years until those friendships either fade out -- or people just go separate ways and come together every so often. My pattern tends to be more of the latter and since the 2nd grade i've been doing that. I'll have a good two solid people that i enjoy spending shit loads of time with and then everyone else is just interchangeable. But every once in while those solid people get on my LAST nerve and i'd give the parental rights to my first born child to hang out with anyone other than them, lol. And here is where it brings me to my point. How important it is, in relationships or friendships, to give eachother enough space to miss one another.

The majority of relationships end because of a few things: trust, miscommunication, or smothering. I've always been a firm believer in the idea that you should be confident enough with yourself and happy enough by yourself before you can ever fathom on making someone else happy. I can't emphasize enough how much it pains me to see girls/women with no backbones whose every life decision depends on the thoughts, feelings, opinions of their significant others. Of course, i also think it's okay to want to compromise and do things that both of you like --but please, please be your own person before trying to dominate someone elses.

I'm pretty positive that i've never been that kind of woman. Never to depend solely on a man to complete me or make decisions for me. I've never had to swallow someone else's bullshit just because i wanted to maintain THEIR happiness, while they gave two shits about MINE. That isn't "love". That's what i call being a sucker. And i promised myself i'd live my life VERY sucker-free.

The Same Mistake

Ok, so I definitely brought this one upon myself. I initiated conversation early in the day, made plans to hang out, knew there was a possibility of some bad behavior to go down but i still wanted to chill. And of course, boys will be boys and if the female is down then you know all systems are go on their end. It's a huge party foul on my end ..even though i was doing SO well with my *self control* for a good 8 or so months .. and dude has fucked up on so many levels, i honestly don't know why i keep digging myself in this deep ass hole. It's not even about feelings anymore or wanting to be with dude because, in essence, it was never really like that. It seems to be more about just filling a void, considering I've been dealing with the same bullshit for yrs. Of course i only have myself to blame for the length of time i've put up with it..but this time was different. Atleast it seemed different. I think i left any feelings/emotions elsewhere because i knew it wouldnt be safe to put my feelings into something that i knew had no substance. Or into someone who just insists on taking me for granted. I might be overanalyzing these things but its what i do -- it helps me make sense of things when it comes to dude. I can't even guarantee i won't make this mistake again. But i don't have any other explanation and sometimes i feel like i don't really need one. =/

Make Me Wanna Scream

My two loves: Michael & Janet Jackson. I swear these two people's dancing capabilities are so alike. Plus, my homegirl Janet looks so fly in this video, as always, we all know she continues to hold it down. And on top of that, i always love a brother/sister duo-too cute. Ironically enough, this video resembles EXACTLY in im feeling right now. Just sooo tired of all the attention and hoopla that surrounds a small part of my life but still, it just makes me wanna SCREAM!

And i hate when i let shit get to me bcuz then it feels as if i've lost. and i hateee to lose at anything.

Also, the mid section where Janet's whispering always makes me feel so at ease. =]