Usually I'm a pretty balanced person but, i feel like i've had so much on my plate lately that i don't even know where to begin. Normally my semesters begin smoothly and my professors always ease into things slowly but, this semester already seems different. Most of my professors already jumping into heavy course material and although i can handle it, i really really don't want to. And its not even like its Major material, no it's simple Gen-Eds that have me fed up because I dont even need any of it. But i guess I have to suck it up.
Another thing is: financially, i'm shot. I'm seriously living as tight as i've ever had to be and its kicking my ass. I got a boost this month but I can't keep relying on boosts to help me stay afloat. And especially with this shitty ass job that isn't providing me with the necessary income I need. The days I work are all essential but its mostly not even worth it. and I don't have the luxury of working everyday like I could've in the summer so my time has to be very carefully distributed between work and school and social life. It also doesn't help that I'm booked for Miami in two weeks and i have to save to take down there with me. Miami wasn't a smart move but I just neeeeed to get away [again].
Miami: I feel like this trip is going to be sooo bittersweet and we're only going for weekend. (12 people, 3 rooms, 1 weekend =[ ] I'm gonna get it in and have fun regardlesssss but still, I know how I am and i get easily ticked off and erked at the smallest things sometimes and i hate it and i know people around me hate it but i honestly just can't help it. and its something i'm really trying to change about myself cuz its not cute.
And to top all of this off, I am sooo emotionally drained. And even though i can honestly say this time is a little different --not as intense as usual-- dude is STILL there, trying to get my attention and i give him the attention every once in a while because i'm still very comfortable with him, his family, everything. Shit is tough. I try to distract myself and keep myself occupied with friends and other acquaintances but i sometimes fuck up. I need more substance and i KNOW there's better out there for me.
I need to move..far
I want to move..far
I just want to take like 3 people with me =]
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