Raindrops

I'm in my car waiting for my cousin to come downstairs so we can go and watch New Moon and see what all the fuss is about, but of course i start to get all deep into thought and reintroduce the idea of evaluating my life. And quite frankly, it sucks.

I'm sick ..and it's come and gone this entire week to the point where it prevented me from going to work Sunday night. And that's pretty much how i feel now. Really ..just..blahh. Strung out and exhausted. Annoyed and irritated. I'm just not impressed by anything. Im not close to graduating (semi-close), im not working where i'd like to, i dont think i could genuinely rely on any given person or people, the same dudes keep coming in and out of my life with no sense of progress from any of them, and i feel like someone's playing Marrionette with my life. As if i have absolutely no control.

Do you guys think i'm bipolar? I hope not, because thats a legitamate disease and it takes a lot to be diagnosed with it. But im honestly asking because i know my last post was relatively "perky" (so to speak)

But, i guess this is how most females are: overtly emotional and passionate about things. I'm just a small-town girl (living in a lonely worldddd!!! ..right? Haha) who wishes she had more on her plate than what's being offered to me.but i KNOW - KNOW - KNOW that my main problem is not speaking out --publicly-- about whats bothering me, to the people that it has to deal with. And i keep alot of shit bottled inside. Honestly tho, if i didnt have this blog ..i'd probably self destruct. Even though i dont really write down everythingggg (i'd be a fool to do so) but, it helps. It really does. Maybe i should voice my thoughts more often..

I guess it's true when you hear the saying, "a closed mouth don't get fed." Okay maybe its not a saying ..just a Hov quote, but still very much appropriate.


Whatever.